I'm not high and I'm not low.
I just am.
Nothing gets me REALLY upset and nothing gets me REALLY excited. I feel like I just kind of stay right in the middle all the time.
I am not sure if this has become a defense thing so I can't get hurt or disappointed anymore.
Believe me, I can still get irritated and wish things had gone differently but I just don't "feel" any extremes anymore. I still smile and laugh a lot, but I sometimes long for those intense feelings I once had.
I love my husband, my son, my family and my friends (those who are left), but I just feel the need to focus more attention on these relationships so I can learn to really experience joy once again. Not getting excited about things can really become a downer and I just want to be able to really experience joy the way God intended us to.
"To miss out on joy is to miss out on the reason for your existence." Lewis Smedes
"Joy is the serious business of heaven." C.S. Lewis
"The problem with people...is not that we are too happy for God's taste, but that we are not happy enough." John Ortberg, The Life You Always Wanted
This is my favorite!!"One day a week eat foods you love to eat, listen to music that moves your soul, play a sport that stretches and challenges you, read books that refresh your spirit, wear clothes that make you happy, surround yourself with beauty-and as you do these things, give thanks to God for his wonderful goodness. Reflect on what a gracious God he is to have thought of these gifts. Take the time to experience and savor joy, then direct your heart toward God so that you come to know He is the giver of "every good and perfect gift." Nothing is too small if it produces true joy in us and causes us to turn toward God in gratitude and delight." John Ortberg, The Life You Always Wanted