This is a great question if you ask me. We spend so much time worrying about how our kids act, what our kids eat, what our kids watch and even how are kids fall asleep. Why? Why are we worrying so much about the things we think make them "normal"? Why don't we just enjoy them, let them be kids, let them enjoy life?
As much as the next kiddo they just want to be a kid. They want to play all day even if it's just on the floor with their piano and guitar. They want to eat Pop Tarts for dinner. They want to watch the same three episodes of a show 10 times in a row. They want to go down the slide (even if it is laying on their back) a 1,000 times. And sometimes they just want to cuddle with Mom and Dad until they fall asleep.
I know, I know it is very important to have discipline and structure for our kiddos, but there are some days that I just want to let Zach be a kid. I get tired of taking him from therapy to therapy, making him have to do everything on his own when it is so hard for him; making healthy food because just maybe that veggie (that he hates by the way) will help him focus somehow. If I get tired doing these things for and with him I can only imagine, as a child, how tired of it he gets.
I can't take Zach to the park or the pool or even our backyard and just let him run around and get all his kid energy out (Nathan likes to call it boy aggression). He has to work hard at every single task he preforms and that has to get exhausting. Just imagine everything you did in life took the energy of a full-on weight-lifting workout.
I love my little guy and I never want to do things that would cause him to not be his own person or to not be able to do things on his own. This being said, we will work, work, work to teach him the things he needs to learn for life but I wholeheartedly believe part of being a kid is doing what you want sometimes and throwing a fit if you don't get to.
So tonight, we are having Pop Tarts for dinner!!!
I agree! It is so hard to find a balance between doing enough therapy and not too much therapy. I find value in just letting Anna be "normal." I awarded you the "Happy 101" award on my blog. Check it out. You don't have to do it but it is fun. Zach is adorable and you guys are doing an awesome job!
ReplyDeleteI whole-heartedly agree that it is not only "okay" to let our kids be kids every now and then, but actually important to let them take a break from regular rules and regulations sometimes! These special children in particular have had to work harder in their short lives than a lot of people work in their entire lives, so it's especially important to make sure that they get time where they just get to enjoy being children. A day of chocolate cheerios for dinner every once in a while isn't going to do any harm :) I think it's HUGELY important that when our children are all grown up, they have happy memories of their childhood. The ability to find joy in life is just as important as the ability to walk or run.
ReplyDeleteAwesome! I love Pop Tarts for dinner. Your husband is so right...
ReplyDeleteGreat post. We struggle with balance here too (like everyone) but we try to have times when the rules have been thrown out the window.
Renee,
ReplyDeleteI so very much agree and I'm so glad you wrote this!
The most important thing for kids is to be kids and play. The funny thing is that children with cp improve and learn the most when they do the things they enjoy and they're active an they play games and with toys they're interested in! Kids with cp also often get frustrated when they try to play and it just doesn't work out :-( India got mad the other day because she wanted to take her dolly's clothes off and she couldn't--she kept shaking the dolly, expecting the clothes to fall off, but of course they didn't. I approached her with the intention to help--she yelled at me first! But then I managed to show her how to put the dolly under her one arm (which is her more injured side) and pull the clothes with her other hand, and guess what, she stripped the dolly almost all by herself. She was giggling all along, and at the end when the dolly was finally naked she was just laughing, and laughing, and laughing.
She could have never had this much fun if i left her to her own devices. She has cp.
I'm not doing therapy with her. I just help her to be able to do more things and have fun and be a kid. The dolly-dressing was her own idea and own choice; she just couldn't figure out by herself how to do it, because she has cp, and children with cp often can't figure out by themselves how to do things, but they may learn them when they're shown! If they're not shown, they'll learn that they can't do those things. That's what we call 'learnt helplessness', and that's something we definitely don't want.
I don't blame you that you get tired of taking him from therapy to therapy. I know a lot of children whose parents do just that (out of good intentions, of course), and at the end of the day there is time for everything except for being a kid, enjoying life and playing--the things that would've made the most difference in the first place. I'm just so very sad that a lot of parents are lead to believe that they have to try to fix their child, and that such fixing is possible, and that the more therapies are done the greater the chance for 'recovery' is.
We don't have to choose between doing everything and doing nothing--there's a road with balance in between. If you find something is too difficult for Zach to do by himself, then help him (instead of trying to force him to do it by himself, and instead of just doing it for him). The whole point is the balance--to put in some effort by himself, but just an amount that doesn't make it 'torture' for him, but instead, makes it fun for him. He'llput in more effort next time. That's the magic of learning.
We regularly organize upside down days when the children are allowed to eat ice-cream in bed while watching movies (grown-ups are allowed that, too :-D), while we more or less stick to a normal routine most of the time. Everybody needs holidays!
Great post, Renee! They are only young once... balance, for sure :)
ReplyDeleteI agree, it's so important to just let our kids be kids sometimes. I love all the pics, Zach is so cute! And, mmm, pop tarts for dinner. :) Sounds good to me.
ReplyDeleteHooray! Sometimes we've just gotta relax, right? It can be hard, though. . .
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