It all started with a pair of Jeans and wanting to feel better and be healthy again. It amazes me how often we give up on something we really want. Something that is good for us just so we can feel good in the moment. Believe me I know, I have done this my whole life. I'm not sure why now is different, but I am so happy it is :-)
I will never say this is easy, but I will say now, it was totally worth it!
It's kinda funny how things have changed for me. My whole life I have been horribly insecure about my weight with a very distorted view of my my body. I still remember a time in high school where my friend asked me to pick out another girl who I thought was the same size as me and the girl I picked had to be three or four sizes bigger than I really was. I have always thought I was bigger than I really was, then I got married :-) Getting married changed me, no not just in I like to eat more and I was happy (and fat) but I really no longer saw myself that way. I actually went the opposite direction. I would look at myself and think "I don't look that bad". Even though I saw the size I was wearing compared to what I used to wear, I still felt like the smaller size, just didn't look like it.
My husband is amazing and he has loved me, no matter what! He has always tried his best to make me feel beautiful and loved. The problem is we get very distorted views of ourselves based on what others think or say about us and this is so sad. So many of my feelings about myself have changed during this time and I don't think it has anything to do with the weight, it has everything to do with the health. I feel so much better "overall" now and that's what really matters. I feel healthy and strong and that is so much more important than looking thinner.
I pray that I can always keep things in perspective. That I would always use my son as an amazing example. He has a strength and determination I long for. If I ever feel like "I just can do it" I need to just take a look at all he does just to move around and STOP MY COMPLAINING!
He has been my inspiration through it all, he shows me we can all do amazing things if we just stay as determined as the day we started something. That giving up is always a choice but not an option.